An Unusual Fear
Yesterday I became aware of an unusual fear.
As I listened to news of the curve flattening and the possibility of social isolation restrictions being lifted I felt the fear rising of "oh no what if everything goes back to normal before I'm ready to go back to my old life, before I've learnt the lessons from this time, before I've used it wisely!" I had fear of COVID-19 ending!?!?!?
So this morning I'm questioning if I'm wasting this opportunity? I feel a need for it to be tranformative, to make meaning of it, to grow, to change, to re-evaluate - and that hasn't happened yet.
As I journal with these feelings I get the message ~ just sit in the mystery Kylie.
Be present in the now, tap in to intuition, heart, synchronicities, signs, symbols, animal wisdom, beauty, peace, serenity.
Enjoy what is now, pull youself back whenever you look ahead in fear.
Dream and hope with love.
Plan even, if you must, but plan from a place of excited expectation for what wonderful opportunities may arise.
Plan from a space of day dreaming instead of fear based "must do", "should be" thoughts that are grounded in fear and control.
Don't use future control strategies to avoid feelings of presently being out of control.
Sit in the perhaps uncomfortable reality that I am never in control of the external environment. All I control is my reaction to it.
And know that is more than enough, that is all the control I need to be happy, safe and well.
May you, and yours, be happy, safe and well xo