Yesterday I was sad. Really sad.
I cried a lot throughout the day. Just thinking of how sad I felt created more tears.
I had no real explanation for this sadness so I made a decision to go with it. To just be sad *. I let go of the need to understand it or snap out of it. Instead I wallowed in it.
I allowed my sadness to fully express itself. I trusted that all my emotions are valuable, worthy and that it is safe to feel them.
And by doing this what I found was beauty.
I found beauty in that sadness. It was so beautiful to let myself cry and cry, to feel truly sad and not need to change that for myself or anyone else. I let my beautiful sadness be seen by others through my puffy eyes, my posture, my voice, my whole outward demeanour. I took it with me to the mechanics and it walked with me around Erina Fair.
Honouring my own truth for the day and letting my outside match my inside was liberating. It also allowed others to show me compassion, understanding and how much they cared. I feel this enhanced my relationships more than if I'd put on a happy face and not shown my true feelings.
I must admit by the end of the day some thoughts about wasting the day and not getting anything done started to creep in but my sadness reminded me that allowing my feelings, my truth, is more important to me than any external task or to do list. Being with myself, honouring myself is really the purpose of my life.
Now I'm not saying this can be done always, as the reality is I have income to earn and things to do, but yesterday those things could wait or at least get done whilst staying true to the emotional state I was in.
I'm so grateful for this experience, so grateful to the sadness for it showed me how much I matter to me.
* I feel this post needs a disclaimer that what I am addressing is one day of sadness. I am not suggesting that if you feel sad for extended lengths of time to just sit with it - please don't. Any prolonged emotional state can lead to mental health issues such as depression, anxiety and/or addiction. So if you find yourself stuck in an emotion please seek help - talk to a loved one, talk to your GP, counsellor or other trained therapists, or call lifeline 13 11 14 or beyond blue 1300 22 4636 (or visit their websites -https://www.lifeline.org.au and https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support)